Monday, August 12, 2013

working it out

I have always prided myself on making work that is affordable.  I've believed that art should be accessible to anyone and everyone.  In my case art just happens to be wearable.  But that has been one of the driving forces of what I do.  But lately every thing that I want to do is uber time consuming, like we're talking hours and hours, days and days...not to mention big ole hunks of silver and tremendous stones and time consuming resin these things start to make stuff a tich more pricey.  What's that?  You don't know what a tich is?  Well it's a tad.  But I might be underestimating a tad when I say a tich.  This new work is just flat out more expensive.  So I'm having to reconcile that with the part of my brain that's always said my work has to be in a less expensive bracket.
sterling silver, resin, and a lovely coral colored drusy, the ring band says "strong as an ox"

 sterling silver necklace, resin, a pink drusy, and copper enamel
the back says "if I'd had wiser eyes"
Oh, and meet Vivian Corinne Caldwell.  Vivian, this is everyone.  
Vivianne is my mannequin and she is beloved by all except for those who she scares.  You know who you are.  Joanne.

So what do I do?  Seems like an easy answer.  Do both.  Right?  Weeeeellllllll, yes, maybe.   But I think, in order to afford myself the time to work on these more ambitious, time intensive little sculptural gems, I might need to edit down my other offerings.  
I was perusing my etsy shop a few days ago and I had six pages of items for sale.  Good gravy Marie!  So I'm gonna do a little slash and burn serious editing!  I want to still make the really sweet, personalized bangles and such...because I do truly love hearing all of your dear stories about why you choose for your bangle to say "sidewalks" or why you love the lyrics to that Paulo Nutini song enough to wear it on your wrist...I need to keep hearing about these little moments of your life, it keeps me connected...
the back of a sterling silver necklace, the entire piece includes resin, a pink drusy, and copper enamel

But once i got back to work after losing Clarence in late May I started pouring myself into these more time intensive, work intensive pieces.  I've found it really difficult to talk about how I'm dealing or not dealing with life now.  I feel words climbing up my throat but they won't come out.  It's strange, I've always been a talker, needing to work things out on the outside.  I'm not an internal problem solver.  But this is so different than anything I've experienced, at least how I have responded or how i'm processing it is so different, that I don't really even know how to articulate it.  Sometimes I start to talk to Tom about something and I can feel what I want to say and it's very clear inside of me but when I try to form words to get it OUT of me, I can't make it happen.  It's like there's some force field between my soul and my brain.  I don't know.  I've also never in my life felt this angry.  I'm not a person familiar with anger, its one of my least experienced emotions really.  But I have it in spades right now...

So I've completely rambled off my point which was, what was it?  Oh yeh, I think, for the first time ever, I'm literally WORKING out my feelings.  I work and work and work and it feels good.  My work is such a good friend to me these days.  I can hammer it to all hell, break down mid solder, make it ride out a 14 hour day, I can get frustrated, over joyed, and fulfilled, I can push it hard and when I leave I know my friend will be there for me the next day, or at 5:15am which seems to be the new time my body is saying "GET UP!" These days.   
But this friendship is a two way street!  I'm putting chunks of my soul into my work right now.  I'm stretching myself more than ever, pushing myself to do everything More...think more, sketch more, clean more, file more, sand more, hammer more, fire more, layer more, no cutting corners, slowing down and feeling each step of the process.  

I've posted some of this new work to the etsy shop.  I'm planning on posting the rest this afternoon.  I hope that some (or all) of these babies of mine will find homes with you.  If you do decide to make one yours it will make me genuinely happy (that is such an understatement).  You will be taking home part of my journey.  A very positive part I think.  There is strength in these pieces, there is hope I think, there is a lot of love, and there is healing.  I hope that you will be able to look at the back of the piece you chose and feel, literally feel, Every intention that I had when I made're so cool, I hope you feel cool.
sterling silver and large redish pink drusy agate.  the back says "you're so cool".
I have this whole back story made up of who would wear this ring.  
I'll have to share it with you...
next time