Monday, November 28, 2011

My Donut

There is a very simple reason for this post: I could not resist sharing these two cute photos of my Vincent Donut! I mean really, could he be any cuter? My shadow boy who follows me from room to room, waits for me to go to bed, waits for me to get out of 70 pound protector. Just had to share...

Monday, November 14, 2011

my favorite holiday

Thanksgiving is far and away my favorite holiday. I love everything about it - the food, the time with family, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I Love It! I think it's the tradition I love. Tradition is the opposite of change and ask anyone who knows me: I. Do. Not. Like. Change. When I was like four years old my grandmother bought a new couch. I was devastated. I laid on her bed and cried as I watched the movers carry the old couch out of the house. My great grandmother came in and gave me all of the change they had found in the cushions of the old couch. It is a very vivid memory for me. And not much has changed. I could tell you about the time I laid across the hood of my old car in the car lot and bawled my eyes out...but I won't.

So anyway, I think that's why I like the holidays so much, it's all about tradition. I'm in charge of pies for our dinner. I have a ritual. I get up, turn on my little kitchen tv (it's shaped like and apple and CUTE!) to watch the parade while I make the crusts. Typically I make five pies. Two pumpkin, two pecan, and one apple of some sort. This year the apple is gonna be honey, rosemary apple! The pie pictured was my test run. I had to make sure it was gonna be okay, you never know when adding something savory to something sweet.
Into the baking of the test run pie I decided candied rosemary on top of the pie might be nice...and it was sooooo good! I need to work on the candy-ing process, but it will be good by turkey day! I kind of made up the recipe, but it turned out so I thought I would share:

Honey Rosemary Apple Pie

1 double crust pie crust - I highly recommend making your own! It's not hard!!!!

5-6 large granny smith apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
1/4 - 1/2 cup honey depending on how sweet you like your apple pies
3 tablespoons of flour
1-2 teaspoons of rosemary, whole or chopped (I left mine whole because I wanted the more rustic look)
two tablespoons of butter (NOT MARGARINE!)

preheat oven to 375

Add everything to a large bowl and toss until the apples are evenly coated with flour and honey. Pour into the bottom crust. Dot the top of the apples with the butter. I just pull it into bits with my fingers. Put top crust on. I did a lattice crust but you can do a regular crust and just poke vent holes with a fork. You can crack open and egg at this point, whisk it together and brush the egg over the top of your pie to give it that lovely golden color - I add sugar crystals at this point too (makes it sparkle!). Wrap edges of crust with foil for the first half of baking so it doesn't burn. Put the pie in the bottom third of the oven (this helps the bottom crust to back and not be mushy). bake for 25 minutes. Take the foil off and bake another 25 minutes. Take your pie out and put it on a cooling rack...setting your pie right on the counter can cause the bottom crust to get soggy.

All done!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Girlie Show + 2 earthquakes = a great weekend!

I just came home from a super fun show in Oklahoma City - The Girlie Show. I gotta be honest, I am pretty lazy when it comes to doing shows. I don't love doing outdoor shows, I don't love traveling to shows, I'm picky. I probably miss some amazing opportunities because of my snobbery, but for some reason I loved the idea of this show. I wrangled my mom into going with me, talked my friends Kari and CeRee of Fat Cat Studio into riding together, and off we went. And it was a blast! Yes it was a six hour drive, yes,there were two earthquakes, and yes, we were jammed into a suburban with a s*%t-ton of stuff...but I'll get to that in a minute.
My poor mother had to witness my mini melt down during load-in. In fact I think her exact words to my husband were "I have a whole new respect for you." But it was all worth it - my booth looked amazing if I do say so myself! I was thrilled! Tom and I made a HUGE sign for my booth, big hot pink stripes with my logo over the top - love it!!
The show was a two day show, but unlike most that are Saturday and Sunday, this one was Friday night and Saturday. Friday evening was rockin'! The show was all female vendors and the entertainment was all female - Friday evening was girlie DJ's. Super cool - although I felt O.L.D. because it was L.O.U.D. But it was fun and very, very busy. Saturday was more low key but just as busy. It was great fun. I will definitely apply again next year. And the other vendors there were waaaaaay too tempting! This one was my favorite...
Wise-Abe. Their work was awesome, their business philosophy was uber cool, and their booth display made me crazy jealous! It was so cool. They used coffee filters and strips of craft paper and masking tape to decorate their booth it sounds odd but it was awesome!
I also scored these AMAZING earrings from Fat Cat Studio. They make insanely cool jewelry from vintage tins. I'm a little obsessed - I think I have seven pairs of their earrings and four or five necklaces. It's an official addiction.
To round out the wonderfully successful trip we stopped at this cool little highway side antique store somewhere south of Dallas...Hillsboro maybe? Anyway, I found this vintage has a wooden handle and the wire part is enormous, it would have made some serious meringue! It was six bucks and I had this idea that it would make a cool light fixture. Well, while at the Girlie Show we took turns running over to this little antique shop next mom and I both bought these cool green enamel lamp shades that apparently came out of the old Farmer's Market building where the Girlie Show was being held. Pretty cool. I brought the two pieces home with the thought that one day they might become two cool lights...well my brilliant husband took one look at them and stuck the shade over the whisk and Voila!, awesome pendant light! I bought all the light parts a couple of days later and within a few hours my kitchen was outfitted with a new pendant that I am in love with!

Start to finish it was a wonderful adventure! We even survived TWO earthquakes while we were there!! One Friday night (I thought my mom had crawled out of her bed and was shaking my bed). And the second on Saturday night was actually the largest earthquake in Oklahoma history! Crazy! It felt like an amusement park ride, totally bizarre. My mom and I just sat there starring at each other. i think I said "I don't know what to do" three or four times. Gotta say, I was happy to be back in Texas - land of still earth. All in all the whole thing was chock full of fun with friends and a work experience I am anxious to repeat! Hopefully this is the beginning of the perfect holiday season.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Birthday pretty girl.

Today is Seven's 14th birthday. I dug up these puppy pictures earlier today and can barely believe how tiny she was. And dear lord she was cute! Sheesh! I ask her all the time "how are you so beautiful?" I pretty much think she's perfect. Now, how we ended up with her...not so perfect.
Tom and I had just moved in together and decided we wanted a dog. In hindsight it may have been a bit early in the relationship to be making such a huge commitment to a living, breathing thing, but it seems to have worked out so I won't dwell on it too much. I suppose I think about these things due to being in rescue now...I see these young couples wanting dogs and I can't help but wonder (and I do usually, rudely, ask) "who is gonna take the dog if you two don't work out?" Hey, my priority is the dog! Anyway, we went to both the city shelter and the local Humane Society. There was an adult dog at the shelter that I wanted but Tom REALLY wanted a puppy. At the HS there was a litter of three adorable puppies. Two brown, one black - they were calling them beagle/heeler mixes (we found out later, much to our shock, they were actually Dingo mixes). When we met them two were adopted. One little brown girl left. The HS employee took her out and we played with her for a bit. We fell hard for her in about two minutes. We couldn't take her home that day because she had to be spayed. So we came back to visit the next day and the next, bonding more and more each time. Then came the day we got to pick her up. I had to work so Tom was gleefully up for the job!

I remember being at work with time crawling by like ants with a full belly. It was late in the evening. Tom was going by the HS on his way home from work and was supposed to call me when he left with her. He did. And here's what he said. "I think they gave me the wrong dog." Me, "What do you mean?" Tom, "I think they gave me the wrong dog." Me, "What do you mean?" Tom, "I don't know, but I think they gave me the other puppy." Me, "Well did you tell them? What did they say?" Tom, "No, the other puppies have already been picked up." Me, "I'm calling them." So I call the HS. Apparently the ENTIRE time we had been interacting with the WRONG puppy. The already adopted puppy. Something about the id numbers being transposed in the computer. I don't know. But their solution was "Well, you can bring her back." But we knew we were not going to get the puppy we'd fallen in love with, she was gone, left the building, adios! So, time to meet our new dog for the first time.
Of course we joke, Seven was an accident. She is the complete and total boss. She would sooner have you poke her eye out than cuddle with you. She barks INCESSANTLY! Her sister is probably a calm, quite, snuggler. And I would not switch them for a bajillion dollars.

My beautiful girl. Knock-on-wood, she might be 14 but she acts like an ornery two year old. She bounces like a gazelle at dinner time, announces every activity in the front yard whether its an actual visitor or a leaf falling from the tree. She bosses all our other dogs, be it one of the chihuahuas or the pit bull, all 37 pounds of her. She takes her sweet time accepting new people who stop by and she pretends to detest just about every other dog in the house. Everything is on her terms. But despite all of that we think she is perfect. She is the princess. This is her castle and she is kind enough to let us live here and honestly, we wouldn't change a thing. Okay, maybe the barking, I'd cut the barking down by about half.

Happy Birthday baby girl. Love you.

Friday, October 21, 2011

the last cuddle.

Sweet little Della Street went on a home visit last night. Her hopeful new mom asked me last night, "are you gonna be sad." and I said, rather quickly in hindsight, "No." She seemed a little surprised and I felt bad, like it came across that I don't care about Della or love her...but it's not that at all. After fostering for nearly 12 years it is less sad. In the beginning I was always a basket case when the dogs left, I literally mourned my loss. But now if you find a good home that you know will love that dog - it's just all happiness! Plus one going out means I can go save another one. So it's not that I've become this hardened wretch, I've just evolved my thinking. Does that make me sound mature? Because I will never claim maturity. Ever.

Monday, October 17, 2011

one dozen

Yesterday marked 12 years of marriage for Tom and I. A dozen years. I'm pretty crazy proud of that. Early, early on in our marriage I told Tom that I wanted to be like Paul and Linda McCartney and never spend a night apart (I think they spent three nights apart over their entire marriage). We haven't quite managed that, but we are pretty darn amazing.

We met at a record store in 1996...

We both had significant others, but there was just something about him. I look back on it now and the way we started out was really a recipe for disaster. But we just kept creeping on to the next step...never really in the "right" order. Sneaking around, breaking up with the significant others, sort-of dating, sort-of moving in together, really moving in together, adopting a dog, buying a house, adopting a second dog, and last but not least...

...getting married. We had THE most amazing wedding. It was exactly everything I wanted. We got married in my parents back yard. They worked for months planting roses and building trellises to make it gorgeous and yet not over-the-top. It was a beautiful evening, there was a giant white tent, orange-vanilla candles, we danced to Nobody Knows Me by Lyle Lovett, and most importantly everyone I love most in the world was there. I walked in barefoot in my handmade (by my mom and my other mom) dress that was layers and layers and layers of yellow tulle. ohhhhh, I could do that day over and over and over again...
And now here we are, 12 years later and I love him more today than I did on that perfect night. I could say all of those cheesy things like we complete each other and we fit and we are perfect for each other and they would all be true, but they still aren't enough. I adore him with every fiber of my being. And I am grateful, insanely grateful for every one of the 4,380 days I've spent married to him. And I'm looking forward to the next 4,380.

Monday, October 10, 2011

settling in.

Although I don't really want to think about it, we might be inching our way into a new normal. I don't want to think about it because I'm not ready to feel "normal" yet. I'm not ready for what life with out Preacher feels like. I need this to happen without realizing it's happening.

The day we lost Preacher we were kind of all over the map figuring out how to cope. Tom's immediate reaction was "we have to get rid of the couch", his couch. We both could not bare the thought of seeing it empty. We kind of manically rearranged the furniture that very day. And that actually helped quite a bit for both of us. But for Seven I think it created even more stress. She was the dog I was most worried about. She was the one who was here for his whole life. She's the one who welcomed him home. She is the one who we could send out into the yard to get him when he couldn't hear that it was time to come in. We could tell her "Go get Preacher" and she'd run into the yard and bring him in. So we made sure that she saw him before he left the house. For days she paced the house. Was she missing him? Looking for him? Or was the furniture rearrangement just throwing her off?

Our sweet, bossy, barky-ass girl is turning 14 at the end of this month. We need life to be normal for her, for life to be easy for her. Happily she appears to have found her new spot in our rearranged life. I love her here in her newly claimed chair. I brought this chair home from my Aunt Millie's house, which for some reason makes me love her in it even more. It's not quite normal, we're just settling in.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Meet Miss Della Street.

I've been struggling the past two weeks with the idea that "life goes on". Honestly, I thought if anyone said that to me I might punch them. For me the idea of life going on equals forgetting. In my head I know that's not true, but telling it to my irrational heart is another matter entirely.

But the night before we lost Preacher I got a new foster puppy. A six week old pit bull baby we named Della Street (I've been on a huge Perry Mason run lately). Because I was scheduled to leave for an art show in Kansas early the next morning Della went to stay with my best friend until I got home. Needless to say the I didn't end up leaving town...but bringing a puppy into the house was difficult to wrap my brain around. I think Tom was feeling the same way though we were both having trouble putting words to our thoughts. But after about a week we decided to give it a go.

I'm not gonna lie, it's been a challenge. At first I had zero bonding going on. Oddly I think I kind of resented her. I know that is awful, but it's honest. I feel terrible about it now, but you never know how you are going to process things like this and while I wish I would have felt different, it is what it is.
As you can see I have gotten past the walls I had built up with this puppy. I've totally bonded with her, I adore her, and I've found some peace in cuddling with her and talking to her while she sleeps. The other night we laid in bed and I told her all about Preacher. I explained to her that she has the potential to be someone's make a family as happy as he made us. It's an amazing thing really, the potential life for this little thing. She has it in her to make someone's life feel whole, to be a part of a family, to be loved more than life itself, to be the end-all-be-all in someone's world. Just like Preacher was for us. It's all right there in that tiny six pound body.

Monday, October 3, 2011

my sweet boy.

I knew the day would come when I would have to write this post. There were even times when I would think about what I would say. But then I would put it out of my head because it was far to dreadful to imagine. But now I'm here. And I can't put it out of my head because now, now it's real. I'm not sure how to write the things I need to say. I can barely see the key board because of the tears. I have no idea how to adequately put into words how amazing, how precious, how loved, how goofy, how regal, how adored, how everything Preacher was and is to Tom and I. The thought of life without him is staggeringly painful. And yet we've made it now 11 days.

We lost Preacher early on Thursday September 22nd. It was fairly sudden. Tom and I were with him, just the two of us. He took the hard decision out of our hands...something I will be forever grateful for and in awe of. As difficult as it was, and it was excruciating, I was able to hold my baby and feel the last beat of his heart.

I've had a hard time making sense of everything. I want to be angry, but how can I be? I was able to share his life with him. We were given and incredible amount of time with him. I'm trying to make sense of everything. Trying to understand how he was just here... I'm trying to hold on to memories, think about the good things, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm having a hard time finding any relief in much of anything just yet. But I know that I need to find a way to be happy. I need to find a way to feel normal again, just like we did with every milestone we passed through Preacher's life with us.
This was from the day we brought Preacher home. I just crack up looking back at these photos! I forget how much pink he had on his nose when he was young. And over the years we marveled at how he never seemed to age...but looking back at these early pictures, his gray was so much darker. I guess you just never notice a white dog going white. To me he just looked more regal the older he got.

These were also from that first day. I wrote about that day in a recent post...when we first loaded into the car Seven wanted nothing to do with him. But by the end of the day I think she was more attached to him than we were.
It took us a little longer to bond with him. I remember the first day at home with him. He was laying on the couch and I sat down next to him and he growled at me. I hopped up and went to tell Tom. He sat down next to him and got growled at too. We were kind of freaking out. We didn't want to return him but we also didn't want an aggressive dog. After a little while we figured out that he just was not a snugly boy. There was no aggression behind the growl, it was just his way of saying "Hey, if you are gonna sit here then you might as well pet me, if not then scoot over and give me some space!" Tom figured out quickly that our new addition meant he was now relegated to the floor! Up until the day before we lost him I would use that as a way to gauge how he was feeling - if he growled at me it meant he was feeling good enough to give me attitude, no growling meant he didn't feel good.
I love this photo of he and Berklie. Berklie adored, absolutely adored Preacher. Back when Preacher could still jump up on our bed that is where he would stay when we were away from the house. And Berk would lay with him, groom him, rub back and forth under his chin. This 130 pound dog and this 12 pound cat were the best of friends. When Preacher could no longer jump on the bed Berklie followed him out to the living room to sit with him on the couch. Every night Tom, Preacher, and Berklie would share the entire couch while I was over in a chair with at least six other dogs!
Our first Christmas. I had no intention of being in this photo but Preacher had no intention of sitting with Santa alone!
The Mighty Texas Dog Walk aka the time when Preacher unloaded what looked like 20 cans of pumpkin before we ever made it out of the gate! Poor Tom was having to set give-away dog bowls around Preachers nervous diarrhea like safety cones.

I love this photo because it marked the return of his apatite after beginning chemo. It was a mighty exciting day around our house!
He was not a cuddler, so these moments were precious. It didn't matter if the blood flow to half my body stopped, I would not move until he was ready. We took every bit of snuggle time that we could get.

I think there are three reasons that I have made it through the last 11 days.
one. We have THE best family and friends in the entire world. They have all treated this with the gravity that it is for Tom and I. We've received flowers. People have cooked for us. Lots of sweet cards. Texts every single day to see how my day is. Listening to me cry and crying with me. Sitting with me. Donations to Blue Dog. And more.
two. As much as I have wanted to get in bed and not see the light of day for a good long time I know that that would be no way to honor my boy. I need to live my life with all the joy that he brought to me for 12 years three months and 16 days.
three. I have never believed in Heaven as much as I do now. I cannot believe that I will never see my baby again. I just can't.

There are so many of you who have read my blog over the years. I don't kid myself. I know that Preacher was why. And I thank you for every time you read about him and wished him well. For every comment you made. There was something about this dog. People lucky enough to meet him would want to come back to get their "Preacher fix" - you know who you are! People who knew him vicariously through Tom and I felt like they knew him and were rooting for him. He just had a way of drawing people to him. I have to pinch myself sometimes because I was lucky enough to be his mom.
I love you and I miss you more than I ever knew was possible. I still scoop your food out in the morning and walk into the kitchen to get your meds. I'm terrified of forgetting the way you smell, the way you feel, the way you sound... Someone I met while dealing with your cancer told me that one day I would be able to feel you by my side again. I am dreaming of that day. I got your name tattooed on my wrist the other day. It gives me something to rub when what I want is to pet you. I'm trying to figure out my feelings from one minute to the next but the bottom line is I miss you terribly. You made it too easy to love you. You filled up our lives so much that now there is a Preacher shaped hole in our world. Thank you for letting me be your mom. Thank you for fighting so hard and giving us these last two extra years. Thank you for making it easy on us in the end. Thank you for being the bravest boy in the whole world. I love you Big Man.
your mom

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


I gotta tell you, it's real hard to get any work done around here when you could be spending your day cuddled up with this! I have not fallen this hard for a foster dog in a long time! I'm telling you, she is a doll. Shoot, she's snuggled up with the one dog in our house who really doesn't even like her! If she can win him over, she can win anyone over. I was snuggled up with her the other night and Tom leaned over my shoulder and said "you can not keep her." I know, I know! But man, there are gonna be some tears when this one goes.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Flea, Flea, Flea!!!

Yay! Tomorrow is another Austin Flea! I adore this show for a lot of reasons: one. It's home grown. It's all local artists at a local venue (not a chain) selling cool handmade or vintage goodies. two. It's a pretty chill show. It's not uptight, hoighty-toighty. It's very, well, Austin. and three. At this Flea most, if not all, of the vendors are donating some portion of their proceeds to help the victims of the Central Texas wildfires. I personally will be donating 25% of anything RED that you buy to the Red Cross. So come out an see us!

The Austin Flea @ The Highball on South Lamar from 11am-5pm. Be there or be square!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

how many times can you fall in love?

You would think I would hit a point where I just cannot fall in love with another dog. I've loved a bunch of dogs. I guess I thought that at some point I would become desensitized to their charm. But no. With all of the fire stuff going on we've had to do a little foster dog shuffle within Blue Dog so Tom and I brought home Sophie. She came to Blue Dog a year or so ago as a puppy, was adopted out...but then somehow ended up at our city shelter. Don't get me started on that. We try so hard to make sure we place our charges in perfect homes, but sometimes people fool you. Selfishly I'm a little glad. I adore this dog. NO, we are not keeping her - but if you are a friend or family member of mine just know that I am beginning a heavy campaign to get her adopted within "the family"!
Seriously, how cute is this!?!?! My precious little brood. I love a lot of dogs.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

my house

So, I don't know if you've heard much about the crazy wildfires that we are dealing with here in Texas or not, but it's pretty much all anyone is talking about around here. I think at this point we have lost more than 1,000 homes and one fire alone has burned more than 30,000 acres. It's just terrifying. One of our dear friends was evacuated from her house late Monday evening and it really made Tom and I think. We were both mentally going through the house trying to decide what to grab if we had to leave at a moments notice. We both went so far as to each pack a bag and make and evacuation plan for the animals...who would go in what car and where the heck we would go with 13 dogs and two cats in tow!

What really surprised me emotionally was my attachment to my house. I've always thought that if I could, financially, I would buy a cute little, old house in the heart of Austin. But thinking of losing this house has made me realize how much I love it and that I seriously doubt if I could leave it for something "better". It's funny how we get it in our heads that we want a certain thing. But life changes and sometimes we don't realize that what we want and need has changed too. When we bought this house nearly 13 years ago I never, ever would have thought it would be my forever home. But now, honestly, I can't imagine ever living anywhere else.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

enjoying today.

What is that saying? Life is what is happening when you're not sleeping? That's not it, but it's something like that, right? I'm trying to keep that in mind - that idea of enjoying everything as it's happening. I do worry about the future. What if this or what if that. But I also may spend too much time looking to the past - wanting to make today look just like some perfect day from years ago. It's hard to just rest in the moment, to enjoy the way your life looks at this very spot in time. I think it's an art, accomplishing that. I'm workin' on it, but it's a process for sure. Anyone got any secrets?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

its the little things

We were hanging out last night, watching a movie and I didn't even notice Tom sitting on the couch drawing this sweet little picture of Preacher. I adore it. I love my husband and my dog to bits.

Friday, August 19, 2011

My life in a photo

This photo so sums up my life - jewelry and dogs, not always in that order. There are so many days where it feels like that is ALL I do. I am surrounded by dogs and jewelry all day every day. It's not a bad's just that I sometimes want to pop my head out of my box to see what else is going on out there.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The only way to turn 40.

I have been dreading this birthday with a passion I cannot put into words. I honestly don't care two hoots about age usually but I think there's a whole biological clock thing...well, whatever. Suffice it to say I was not excited. So my sweet and wonderful mom decided a big blow out would be a great distraction - and even better, include all of my friends also turning the big 4.0. this year. So, here's the five us looking a mighty mature forty.

It was THE best birthday ever. EVER. I figure if I can ring in forty in a pink tutu then I don't need to worry about the whole age thing all that much.