Friday, April 30, 2010

finger nail polish

It's been almost a year since I lost my Aunt Millie. Earlier this month my mom and I drove to New Mexico to help clean out her house. Well, we actually didn't help too much, it was more of a chance for us to bring home some things of hers to remember her by. I went a little nuts. I tended to want all of the things that no one else wanted and in the process managed to nearly fill the entire back of my mom's suburban. The closer we got to home the more worried I became that Tom was gonna come unglued when he saw all the "stuff" I was bringing into our house. But in the end he was a very good sport about it all. He knows that I am insanely sentimental and I get attached to things. I know it's silly. I know that the person isn't in the "things", but it's just hard to see the things she loved go into a garage sale or be given to someone who didn't know her or love her.
When we were there for her funeral we stayed at her house and I slept in her room. I found her nail polish and thought it would be nice to use it for the service. When I started going through it to decide which one I wanted to use I began to realize that they were all the same color. Almost exactly. All different brands, but still the same color. I imagined her going to the grocery store, walking down the make up isle and looking at the polish, picking up bottles until she found the perfect one, and never noticing that it was the same as all the others she had at home. I don't know why but this made me giggle. As sad as I was for some reason this tickled me so much and fascinated me at the same time. On this recent trip when we cleaned out the space where this nail polish was I grabbed every bottle. I just could not let them be thrown away. I just know she picked out each one, loving the color, thinking it was something a little different and fun. And I really wonder if she ever realized when she brought the new bottle home that it looked a little like the others. I wonder. I would love to ask her...and maybe tease her about it just a little.