Sunday, January 15, 2012

kicked to the curb

I'm gonna be frank. The last 3-4 months have kind of sucked. It hasn't been all bad, but the bads have been big. I needed to get away the minute all of the holiday work and family festivities were done. January 6th we headed to New York. I've wanted to come here for Christmas for years but with my work being at it's peak before Christmas it just seems impossible. So I was thrilled to see that it seemed like most of the decorations were still up. But the trees, the thing that is the heart of Christmas, those were lying on the curb.
The more we walked the more we saw. It made me so sad. Christmas is huge for me. From Thanksgiving to Christmas day - that section of the year is my absolute favorite. I love the smell, the cold air, the food, the decorations, the lights, the smiles, the presents, the gift wrapping while drinking egg nog, the baking. I. Love. It. But this year there was kind of a cloud over it. And then my parents dog Tia got sick. She was diagnosed with cancer and everything went downhill so quickly. Watching my mom suffer was one of the most excruciating things I've ever dealt with. I realized that it is harder to watch someone you love hurt than it is to hurt yourself. Nothing makes you want to "do" Christmas when you've got that giant ache in your chest.

It was time to chock this Christmas up to...well, done. Just done.

So walking the streets and seeing all of these trees, big and fat, tall and skinny, tiny and adorable, lying on their sides, piled and discarded, kicked to the curb - these trees became so symbolic for me. I was so ready to kick 2011 to the curb. Done. And with that every tree I saw was more of an out-with-the-old, ready-for-a-new-start than any kind of sadness. I wanted to photograph them and give them a send off for the time they served. But more than anything each one pushed me more into 2012 and the hope that this will be a better, happier year.