Wednesday, December 12, 2012
I would love to say that round two of chemo went off with out a hitch, but it actually kind of sucked. It has taken me back to Preacher's third round of chemo which was so scary and made us second guess all of our choices. But after round three Preacher just breezed through chemo, so I am so hoping that the same will be true for Clarence...is it too much to ask for successful cancer treatment with two dogs, twice in a row?
So we are switching chemo drugs, plus we've added another med that apparently has shown good results specifically with TCC. In fact he is currently at the clinic awaiting this new chemo...I would love to think that we are "due" some good news, but I know that the world just does not work that way. But I am still praying, hoping, and digging deep for every ounce of faith I have to focus on the positive. My friend Kerry told me yesterday that worry is a form of negative prayer. I love that, but its not real good news for me since I am a giant worrier! So I've got to find a way to reign in those scary thoughts that creep into my head. I have to believe that we can get in front of this thing. I've adjusted my expectations - in the beginning I fully expected us to cure him...now what I want for him and for us is some happy, comfortable time. Now don't misunderstand, I will still take "cured!" and run with it!
So, for today, can I ask for prayers? positive thoughts? well wishes? for this drug to be the one that works for him? I just would love to think that there is a whole pile of people out there sending positive thoughts into the universe for my boy today. I believe that it works, I believe that it heals.
I have had my busiest year since beginning Metalsgirl. I feel very, very fortunate. As I mentioned before, right now I would like nothing more than to just hang out with Clarence 24/7 so some days I get really anxious about the fact that I am working 12, 15, even 19 hour days. But chemo ain't cheap so I am grateful for the work. Still have those chemo fund grab bags available in fact! I can push through the next couple of weeks and then in January, Clarence and I (and Tom and the other pups and cat too) might have a two week long movie marathon curled up on the couch with a fire and an endless cup of hot tea.
Bloggified by Metalsgirl at 7:40 AM